Yosemite National Park Fire Reportedly Started By A Bear Playing With Matches

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

image for Yosemite National Park Fire Reportedly Started By A Bear Playing With Matches
One of the many park ranger shacks located throughout Yosemite Park.

FRESNO, California - Unconfirmed reports state that the two-week old Yosemite National Park fire may have been started by a black bear playing with matches.

Park ranger Orion Silvergate, 51, said that he was told by a Gilbert Baumbaker, 19, of San Jose that he is pretty sure that he saw a bear playing with a box of Ohio Blue-Tip Kitchen Matches right before the fire started.

Baumbaker was asked if he smokes marijuana. At first he did not want to say but after he was given four slices of double pepperoni pizza he admitted that he does use pot as a recreational drug.

He was then asked if he knew anything about the huge marijuana field that a group of firemen from Oakland had come upon.

Baumbaker quickly answered that he did not. He was given a box containing a dozen Hostess Twinkies and he confessed that he is employed as a lookout for the Sweet Smoke Marijuana Field located in the back end of the park.

Reports are that the fire has already burned 348 square miles and naturalists have stated that the woodpecker population is devastated at the amount of trees that have been destroyed.

SIDENOTE: Baumbaker was asked to describe the so called bear that he saw playing with matches. He said that it had a big head, huge paws, and kind of smelled like a Canadian tourist.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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