The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back. Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...
Her walkway is lined with sugarless candy canes and her lawn is covered over with gluten free danishes. With the sides of her house made of non trans fat chicken fingers, a roof full of diet doughnuts and windows of sugarless sugar, the dimwitted wi...
Lahaina, Maui- In what is shaping up to be one of the most bizarre trials in recent history is set to begin tomorrow on the island of Maui, Hawaii. The man the media has dubbed The Avocado Terrorist will stand trial on felony charges. One Joseph De F...
FRESNO, California - Unconfirmed reports state that the two-week old Yosemite National Park fire may have been started by a black bear playing with matches. Park ranger Orion Silvergate, 51, said that he was told by a Gilbert Baumbaker, 19, of San...
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - An Alabama forest ranger has just discovered what is believed to be the smallest owl in history. Ranger Cunningham Quickquibble, said that he was patrolling an isolated area of The Cornbread State Forest when he heard what so...
WICHITA, Kansas - Two of the Midwest's most popular and experienced tornado chasers, Sterling Vittybird, 27, and Tranquillo Razzle, 24, recently got caught up in their work. The two were on Interstate 35, chasing a category 6 tornado that had form...
Controversial plans to sell 258,000 hectares of state-owned woodlands have been abandoned, then taken up again, then abandoned again. Environment secretary Caroline Spelman told MPs, "actually, we got it right", when David Cameron's government re...
The sale of forest land has attracted opposition from unexpected quarters - A Mr Gump, 49, said 'Ah guess ah'll have to find a new name… Devastation, maybe.' Frodo Baggins, eleventy-three, said 'Middle Earth will never be the same again. Sellin...
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