Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.

Funny story written by Buck E Filbert

Thursday, 14 March 2013


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.
Does This Hurt?

A new malady has been sweeping across America. It seems that when ever someone in America is involved in any kind of accident, they develop a wide range of health problems.

The American Health Society became aware of this rash of complaints when one of it's Doctors noticed a sharp rise in soft tissue injuries in the last few years. Most of these problems surfaced shortly after consulting a lawyer about an accident.

Dr. DeLongpre, a thirty year physician practicing out of Pretoria Michigan stated, "we commissioned a study on the correlation between soft tissue injuries and lawyers and there seemed to be strong indications that after consulting a lawyer patients developed problems well above the normal patient with similar problems".

Signs that you have contracted, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", range from upper, lower, middle back irritation with shooting tendrils of sharp brain pain to terminal tendinitis. Funny thing about this new affliction is, no two people exhibit the same symptoms even with seemingly similar accidents.

The disease, now known as, "Lawyerish Settlementitus" does not appear to be contagious and appears to be transmitted directly through ink, pens, signitures and contracts.

Even though the disease is not transmitted through the air or bodily fluid the CDC (Center for Disease Control) is issuing a warning across America for people to be careful and wear rubber gloves when signing legal documentation.

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed above you should contact your personal injury lawyer immediately.

BEF vagina

From Fantastic Sunset and Vine in Beautiful Downtown Hollywood California 90028

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more