A new malady has been sweeping across America. It seems that when ever someone in America is involved in any kind of accident, they develop a wide range of health problems.
The American Health Society became aware of this rash of complaints when one of it's Doctors noticed a sharp rise in soft tissue injuries in the last few years. Most of these problems surfaced shortly after consulting a lawyer about an accident.
Dr. DeLongpre, a thirty year physician practicing out of Pretoria Michigan stated, "we commissioned a study on the correlation between soft tissue injuries and lawyers and there seemed to be strong indications that after consulting a lawyer patients developed problems well above the normal patient with similar problems".
Signs that you have contracted, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", range from upper, lower, middle back irritation with shooting tendrils of sharp brain pain to terminal tendinitis. Funny thing about this new affliction is, no two people exhibit the same symptoms even with seemingly similar accidents.
The disease, now known as, "Lawyerish Settlementitus" does not appear to be contagious and appears to be transmitted directly through ink, pens, signitures and contracts.
Even though the disease is not transmitted through the air or bodily fluid the CDC (Center for Disease Control) is issuing a warning across America for people to be careful and wear rubber gloves when signing legal documentation.
If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed above you should contact your personal injury lawyer immediately.
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