More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles

Funny story written by Buck E Filbert

Monday, 7 January 2013

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles
People with Rifles Need to Start Cappping People with Hammers

It appears the Congress would be better off banning carpenters tools than making rifles illegal.

Statistics released by the FBI reveal that in 2005 the number of people murdered with a rifle was 445 while carpenters and handymen and ball players killed an astounding 605 with hammers and bats.

Similarly, in 2006 the number of murders committed with a rifle was 438 while the hammers and bats killed 618.

The trend shifts somewhat from year to year but it's consistent that bats and hammers kill more people than rifles.

2011 brought the figures in at 323 for rifles and 496 murders with rifles.

According to these figures the government would be far better off policing peoples tool boxes as opposed to raiding peoples gun lockers.

The obvious answer to all this blunt object killing is to make sure you're well armed.

Only a fool brings a hammer to a gun fight. Only a survivor brings a gun to a hammer fight.

Truth is stranger than fiction....


From Sunset and Vine in beautiful downtown Hollywood California 90028
BEF
vagina

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more