Showing:

Funny satire stories about statistics

Try another search?

Funny story: 41% of passing cars are black, observes Statistics Canada intern from dining room table

41% of passing cars are black, observes Statistics Canada intern from dining room table

New Statistics Canada staff member Dwayne Nixon observed yesterday that more than two-fifths of cars passing his dining room window between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. were black, far exceeding the previous daily high of 24% recorded 56 days…

Read full story
Funny story: HB3 to Make Public Bathrooms Unavailable to Straight Men Unless They Can Prove They Aren't Child Molesters

HB3 to Make Public Bathrooms Unavailable to Straight Men Unless They Can Prove They Aren't Child Molesters

New York, NY--The New York state legislature is poised to pass House Bill 3, which would make public bathrooms unavailable to straight men unless they can prove that they are not child molesters. Said Representative Anthony Sawyer, one of the spon...

Read full story
Funny story: 12 out of 10 Americans Don't Believe in Statistics

12 out of 10 Americans Don't Believe in Statistics

ATLANTA, GA - According to a recent poll completed by The Atlanta Constipation, 12 out of 10 Americans don't believe in statistics. Some of the other interesting numbers in the poll: 68% of US citizens support child vaccines while 86% are oppos...

Read full story
Funny story: Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Fayetteville, AR - A recent study by the University of Arkansas found that a person's excitement about New Year's Eve and associated celebrations tends to fade with a person's age. Lead researcher Vernon Springer, PhD, professor emeritus at the U…

Read full story
Funny story: Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Statistically speaking, someone in the world thinks "White Chicks" is the greatest film ever made - an opinion piece

Statistics is a funny science. The process of collecting and interpreting data can often lead to some unpleasant, odd, or belief-defying answers. It doesn't always yield perfect results, but like any scientific endeavor, we can be sure more often than not that our work, if done correctly, leads us to the truth. But of all the claims we can make using statistics, perhaps the most outrageous is the...

Read full story
Funny story: Cardinal sins to be reclassified as sub-standard virtues

Cardinal sins to be reclassified as sub-standard virtues

The recent apology by Cardinal Keith O'Brien where he admitted to below-standard sexual conduct, has inspired a radical review of offences. HR, ecumenical and legal professionals are all celebrating the proposed new terminology. "Really it is an...

Read full story
Funny story: More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles

More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles

It appears the Congress would be better off banning carpenters tools than making rifles illegal. Statistics released by the FBI reveal that in 2005 the number of people murdered with a rifle was 445 while carpenters and handymen and ball players k...

Read full story
Funny story: Tramps living under bridges prove that there are more than 7 billion of us!

Tramps living under bridges prove that there are more than 7 billion of us!

According to the United Nations the 7th billion person, an Indian baby, was born and this is symbolic proof that the human race has doubled over the last 50 years. "Bullshit" claim tramps living under bridges and underground tunnels, etc, the world o...

Read full story
Funny story: Survey Proves Surveys Prove Nothing

Survey Proves Surveys Prove Nothing

A new poll has thrown doubt on the results of thousands of surveys which claim to reflect the moods and tastes of the nation. This latest survey, carried out by PollsRUs for EIF News & Features, questioned several local people and came up with...

Read full story
Funny story: Worried? Give It Half An Hour

Worried? Give It Half An Hour

Here's a bothering statistic: the average Brit spends 36 minutes a day worrying about something. A survey of 2,000 people showed that we worry about paying bills and keeping healthy, but the chief issue keeping us awake at night is: "Am I too fat?...

Read full story
Funny story: Statistics working for the government

Statistics working for the government

The head of the new government department for analyzing statistics, Sir Arthur Dozen MP said his fresh approach to interpreting statistics would help to improve the government's popularity and make people feel safer. He outlined how his new approa...

Read full story
Funny story: Statistics up!

Statistics up!

A recent hard-hitting survey has revealed that statistics have risen upwards at an unprecedented rate and are currently at an all-time high. The shock report reported that a shocking 74% of all statistics are only 39% worthwhile, while 22% of the...

Read full story
Funny story: Pointless Stories Number One

Pointless Stories Number One

A plane chartered by the Canadian government to fly stranded citizens out of Libya has left Tripoli airport completely empty, Canadian sources have reported. Although this may appear a bit bizarre, a number of other countries have had similar expe...

Read full story
Funny story: Concerns Over Low Awareness

Concerns Over Low Awareness

A poll has revealed that only 9% of people surveyed knew of the existence of the Cultural Olympiad , planned to mark the London Games of 2012. This statistic is causing great concern amongst the organisers, who are blaming a low key media policy for the disappointing results. The organisers should, however, be more worried about some of the other trends that have emerged from the survey.

Read full story
Funny story: TV Viewing Fears Expressed

TV Viewing Fears Expressed

Repeated viewing of violent scenes in films, television or video games could make teenagers behave more aggressively, US research suggests. Its understood that other research studies also suggested that excessive exposure to content such as Jackas...

Read full story
Funny story: More Amazing Statistics

More Amazing Statistics

Rising life expectancies and improved health means the population is ageing much more slowly than at the end of last century. The US and Austrian study in the well respected Science magazine makes a number of amazing discoveries. The study also...

Read full story
Funny story: Report: "More Than 100% of People Reading This Have Lied"

Report: "More Than 100% of People Reading This Have Lied"

LONDON - A new article has found several links between things. Nearly 90% of the population did not know the difference between real scientific figures and made-up statistical babble. "It's really something," said Prof. Mann, "nearly 98% of pri...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more