Paul Ryan Speaks Out About Gay Marriage

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 8 September 2012

image for Paul Ryan Speaks Out About Gay Marriage
Paul Ryan says that he does not want to see gays or lesbians holding hands in public. (Photo courtesy of Ellen DeGeneres).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan aka Eddie Munster, spoke before a crowd gathered in the parking lot of a King's Kastle Supermarket.

Ryan told the crowd estimated at between 19 and 22 adults that he wants everyone to know that he does not dislike old people like Scarlett Johansson and Vice-President Joe Biden stated in their Democratic National Convention speeches in Charlotte, South Carolina.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm sure, Ryan meant to say North Carolina but he simply got mixed up...again!]

He was then asked to talk about gay marriage. Ryan, who is becoming widely known as "Lyin' Ryan" shook his head and replied that deep down inside he really is not against gays and lesbians getting married.

"What?" someone in the crowd hollered out.

Ryan then explained that he just does not want to see gays and lesbians walking down the street hand-in-hand or kissing on the lips at public eateries like Mickey D's, Pizza Doll's, Cackle Cackle Chicken Diner's, Hamburger Hanna's, and The Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant's.

The man who Vice-President Biden calls Little Bunny Foo Foo then pointed out that if gays and lesbians really want to get married and have lots and lots of rights then they need to make arrangements to move to Denmark.

In Sports News. Retired quarterback Brett Favre has stated that he may have to come out of retirement in order to pay any legal fees that he may incur due to the recent alleged sexual harassment charges.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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