Homeless baby boomers overdue for death

Written by Aspartame Boy

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

image for Homeless baby boomers overdue for death
This piggy bank had to be removed from the man's cold dead fingers

Newly-homeless baby-boomers are dying minutes after leaving their former homes. As reported in the press here, it is expected that younger people will live shorter lives (up to thirty years less) if they are homeless.

Our source, Dr. Offincaye, reports that he has been called in to establish the cause of death for baby boomers in their early sixties that have died minutes after being evicted from their former homes.

We have Dr. Offincaye on the record regarding a recent eviction:

"I was a witness to one eviction. The man was a picture of perfect health. You never would have known he was 63 years old to look at him. Then, he was removed from his former home. As I watched, he aged 30 years before my very eyes. It was like watching Dorian Gray or something. He aged thirty years in thirty minutes. His teeth and hair all fell out as I watched. I've never seen anything like it. Of course, the man did drink about 10 quarts of aspartame laced diet soda per day.. "

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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