Written by Dr Jon

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

image for Doctors' "shock and outrage" at news they are to be done over like the rest of us
Stop bloody moaning. I've got three kids to get through private school.

Doctors' leaders today angrily reacted to the news that they were to be treated like every other poor sod.

Senior GPs and Consultants looked up from charging around in Range Rovers, guzzling Claret and refusing to do home visits long enough to notice that the Tories were planning to shaft them along with teachers, social workers and that bloke who works at the DHSS.

"It's shocking" commented Dr Herbert Bumptious, of the BMA, "we've all been voting Tory for years, clearly mislead into thinking that because we are smug, arrogant and full of ourselves we were 'one of them' and thus immune from being treated like shit."

"But it's now clear that Cameron, Osborne and the other aristocrats think of us as nothing more than a bunch of uppity middle class nouveaus who are beneath contempt because we have to work for a living."

Healthcare analysts have noted that for years, doctors appear to have been under the mistaken impression that the respect afforded to them in the past was not because they worked long hours, tried to be kindly and considerate in all circumstances and put patient well-being first. They appear to think they were valued for being the sort pushy, annoying, competitive prick who got good A levels.

They have been a bit surprised therefore to find that since lately, they have done nothing but whine on about being on call, bollock anyone who makes a short notice appointment and grab any loose pound coin going to spend on Farrow and Ball paint, Joe Public has started to clock that they are somewhat overpaid for doing a job that to be honest, could be done by a badger trained to say "it's probably a virus" and "Well there's nothing I can do at this time of day, you'll have to go to Casualty".

A doctor, of course cannot strike, and the only option open to the profession in the way of protest is to work strictly to contract.

They are unlikely to take this step, however, as in most cases it will mean people will actually get seen a bit fucking sooner.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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