Doncaster Doctor Only Ever Prescribed Valium GMC Told

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

image for Doncaster Doctor Only Ever Prescribed Valium GMC Told
Take Some Valium - Just Like That!

Appearing before the General Medical Council, Doctor Amor DeFreitas, who works as a GP in downtown Doncaster was accused of only ever prescribing valium to patients, regardless of their medical condition.

The matter first came to light when a local pharmacist expressed concerns at the amount of valium being prescribed to patients visiting her pharmacy.

Following a case where an elderly patient with a fractured hip bone was prescribed valium, the pharmacist became suspicious, and began to make a log of Dr DeFreitas's prescription history.

It quickly became apparent that the GP was only prescribing valium for a multitude of ailments, which in most cases was entirely inappropriate. Over a three month period, the pharmacist noted that of over 1,800 prescriptions submitted by Dr DeFreitas, every single one, without exception was a prescription for valium.

Dr DeFreitas was reported to the GMC, and his performance was carefully monitored.

One man told the panel that he visited Dr DeFreitas suffering from severe nosebleeds, and was prescribed valium, which was totally ineffective in treating his condition. Some months later, the same man returned to Dr DeFreitas's surgery suffering from haemorrhoids and was again prescribed valium.

The panel also heard that when patients consulted Dr DeFreitas, rather than discuss their medical condition, or listen to their concerns, the doctor would put on a succession of silly hats and launch into a series of impressions of TV stars past and present, such as Frank Spencer, Tommy Cooper, and sometimes Rod Hull and Emu.

Particularly damning was the testimony of an eighteen year old girl, who, concerned that she may have contracted a virulent strain of an STD was prescribed valium, and treated to a series of Humphrey Bogart impressions.

"I don't even know who Humphrey Bogart is - or was," she told the panel. "The whole consultation was an absolute waste of time. This doctor is a one trick pony of the worst ilk - a bloody dangerous one trick pony."

Speaking to reporters afterwards, Dr DeFreitas's solicitor said:

"My client has always acted in the best interests of his patients. He feels that he should be left alone to prescribe valium to his heart's content, and that nobody has the right to criticise or question his professional judgement. He feels that the people of Doncaster are a bunch of miserable bastards who need to chill out, adding that they should be grateful that anybody can be bothered to prescribe them anything at all. It is his opinion that valium is good for the masses, and that they ought to be eternally grateful to him for throwing in his comedy impressions free of charge. My client is a progressive GP who is operating at the top of his game."

The case continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more