Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 27 June 2011

image for Worried? Give It Half An Hour
Fretful. Dr Anxious yesterday.

Here's a bothering statistic: the average Brit spends 36 minutes a day worrying about something.

A survey of 2,000 people showed that we worry about paying bills and keeping healthy, but the chief issue keeping us awake at night is: "Am I too fat?"

Dr Barbara Anxious, of the National Fretting Institute, said: "These are worrying statistics - to be honest I lost a lot of sleep deciding whether or not to publish them.

"Now I'm bothered that people will be troubled by them. I mean, they may fret that they're worrying too much - or even not enough!

"My great fear is that people start worrying about not having anything to worry about.

"Oh! The turmoil."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Doctors, statistics

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