London - Scrounging royal benefit impostors Kate Fiddleton and Wee Willy Wales are off the VIP list for tonight's state banquet shindig.
Tony Blair's bastard son by JK Rowling and Cherie Booth's daughter by Bill Clinton are personae non grata at the evening's feast.
Government paranoia that an impromptu photocall might see the hoaxers snapped and papped next to the Blairs is one nightmare that's had to be nipped early in the bud.
An omerta-like veil of House of Windsor deceit protecting gold-digging spongers William and Kate slipped an inch or two at lunchtime, however.
A 10 minute Palace photocall with the Obamas lent gravitarse to the newlyweds' royal pretensions, despite the First US Couple's own risible DNA status.
"Bottom line is somebody in the Palace of Westmonster is threatening to out Kate as Vincent Tabak's sister," our-man-behind-the-super-dooper-hyper-injunction twatted tonight
"Wanna see a pic of Pippa minus her knickers?"
