Fears for William's Big Dipper as hit squad of shooting stars circles Windsor Castle

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 22 April 2011

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Astrology: If HM drops dead before the wedding William's dead meat

Berks - Astrologers working on Prince William's wedding chart reckon he's ploughing his own succession furrow - as a classic swastika formation of Lyrid meteor shower straddlles Windsor skies this Easter weekend.

The annual celestial lightshow occurs as Earth passes through a trail of debris and wreckage left by comet Margaret Thatcher (C/1861 G1).

Its origin lies in the asterisms of the Summer Wrecktangle (sic) - mainly in the constellation Lyra the Liar, traditional sign of Hellfire Club prophecy triggers.

The last time the zodiac pattern was visible above the Castle was in August 1997 when Princess Diana's car crashed in Paris.

"It's on the cusp of St George's Day and Easter Sunday - so we know it's a biggie," Ass-tronomer Royal Sir Percy Codpiece said today.

"Whether it will pounce on the Queen and rip her guts out in a Easter Uprising spectacular is debateable."

Chelsy Davey is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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