Written by Charpa93

Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for US Blizzard Expected to Reach Isle of Wight by Tuesday
Emergency Snow Shelter in Isle of Wight

US Meteorologists are saying that a major storm front bringing blizzard conditions to almost a dozen states so far is expected to cross the Atlantic and land on Britain's doorstep come Tuesday.

"I've not seen anything like it in my 32-year career as a weatherman and storm chaser," claims Rich Ghanal, head meteorologist for Minnesota News Team Channel 4 Storm Breaker Weather News. "Usually, these storms hit the Atlantic and pretty much die down in the water, but this storm is so intense, it is expected to out run the freighters crossing the Atlantic by several days. We've issued warnings all the way from Long Island to the Isle of Wight and beyond."

Isle of Wight meteorologist, Charlie Dinglesdump, reported in his Isle of Wight News Meteorological and All Round Weather Watch Report that the Isle of Wight should expect up to two feet of snow by late Tuesday evening and continuing into Wednesday. Dinglesdump predicts snow atop snow atop snow, as the system crawls slowly over the Isle, making its way to France by Thursday. Interestingly, Dinglesdump predicts that the direction of the storm indicates that if England gets any snow at all, it will be a light dusting. "But here on the island," said Dinglesdump, "we may as well change our name to the 'Isle of White' come Tuesday."

The Isle of Wight Department of Highways has only one 30-year old snow plow which is enormously inadequate to handle the massive snows expected. Officials are asking local residents to purchase heavy-duty snow shovels to help keep the roadways clear. City Council Member, Clive Shortsnortle had this to say to Island residents about the after effects of the impending storm, "We have gone into emergency mode to assure everyone's safety. We ask that you get your snow shovels ready to enable us to keep the roads clear. With everyone doing their part around the clock, we should be able to stay ahead of the storm." The only grocery store on the Isle of Wight has already announced shortages of candles, tinned beans and toilet tissue as islanders rush to ready their homes for the onslaught of mother nature's wrath.

Upon hearing this, Meteorologist Rich Ghanal chuckled. "Just wait'll those British get a taste of a Minnesota snow storm. I'd love to be a fly on the windshield of that snow plow."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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