Isle of Wight News - "IT Guy" Course to be Offered

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Sunday, 12 December 2010

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"IT Guy" Diploma a First

Council Leader David Pugh was on hand today at Isle of Wight College for the grand announcement of a new "IT Guy" course.

Pugh said "This is the first step for the island to diversify from a tourism based economy to become known as a technological centre to attract computer based industries."

"While many colleges and Universities offer full fledged Computer Science Degrees or Computer Engineering we have done market surveys and the jobs are going to "IT Guys" first."

"We did not want to go to all the trouble of training students as computer experts and then have them sitting unemployed as not being suitable for the many "IT Guy" positions out there. That is why we have decided that the Isle of Wight College will be the first institution of its kind to offer a ready-to-work "IT Guy" diploma."

"We are proud of our new course and believe it is not only the first "IT Guy" course of its kind on the Island but the whole world for that matter, well at least as far as Portsmouth that's for sure."

Pugh admits that there is much work to do to match academic standards with preconceptions for "IT Guys" such as a generally slovenly appearance, visible tattoos, body piercing and a lackadaisical attitude.

"While many of our applicants fulfill standards perceptions of an "IT Guy" it is only through the university experience that we can hope to standardize "IT Guy" skills and professional behaviors expected."

First year courses will include mandatory training in "IT Guy" fundamentals such as:

• How to set up a help desk and then leave it unattended
• How to develop IT attitude and get away with it
• Techno Swahili
• How to keep non-IT staff confused to maintain job security
• Installing computer glitches and then miraculously fix them

Pugh says "Many females have inquired about the new "IT Guy" course as well."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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