New Hampshire Receives First 'Shovel Ready Stimulus" as Truckloads of Snow Arrive From Buffalo to Open Ski Slopes!

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 10 December 2010

image for New Hampshire Receives First 'Shovel Ready Stimulus" as Truckloads of Snow Arrive From Buffalo to Open Ski Slopes!
Snow from Buffalo Comes with FDA Warning to NH Skiers!

After 2 years President Obama's promise of funding shovel ready projects has finally born fruit as a convoy of trucks from Buffalo, NY began delivering needed snow to the ski resorts in Glen, New Hampshire, home of the famous 10th Mountain Division of WWII Fame.

Famed ski resorts Wildcat and Attitash Mountains currently bare of snow covering a fortnight away from Christmas vacation when a horde of Massachusetts Democrats head to the tax free state to stock up on Irish Whiskey, were in jeopardy of being sold off for mineral rights if the tourists didn't show up this winter season.

"Praise the Lord, " said a heavy equipment operator identified only as "Elvis" from Intervale, "I've got my front end loaders standing by to start moving the Buffalo snow up the mountain and a horde of unemployed tennis professionals ready to spread it with their shovels!"

Skiers from as far away as Long Island said that while Buffalo snow was 'not as pure as that manufactured in the White Mountains, it's sure is better than nothing."

Thanks to the Obama Stimulus Ski Package, skiers that pay $700 for an all day pass at either of the mountains, get a taxpayer rebate of $1500, on top of the $7500 they got for traveling to NH in their new Chevy Volt, $500 for not eating at any of the Fast Food Chains along Route 16 in North Conway under the Michelle Obama Healthy Meal Plan, and another $300 rebate on a cedar lawn ensemble offered by native craftsmen.

North Conway was recently in the news when a local Boston newspaper columnist charged Democratic Senator John 'Ketchup" Kerry with trying to avoid taxes on his new foreign built $8M dollar yacht by registering it on Echo Lake, just beneath scenic
Cathedral Ledge.

The columnist, pointed out, correctly, that the Lake was only 7 acres, had a depth of 7.5 feet, provided no moorings and was landlocked. According to Kerry's spokesman, the Senator was not aware of the restrictions, and promised to not only move the yacht, but finally register it his home state and pay the $500,000 excise tax "pretty soon."

Meanwhile a bunch of environmentalists threatened to block the delivery of the snow under a mandate from their leader, Al Gore, who said on national TV, " mother nature shouldn't be tampered with. The relocation of snow is an unnatural act, and should be severely penalized by the government."

Shortly thereafter Gore left on a rather large plane for England to look at what went wrong in his scientific theories as Brits are currently 'up to our arse in F*****g Snow," according to local reports.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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