Travel Expose - by Basil Blathering - English Church News. I am here at the Isle of Wight watching disgraceful conduct by young people, said Basil Blathering on a windy Sunday morning. It all started with immature young pranksters on You tube,…
After his surprise discovery that the United Kingdom was an island nation with a busy sea port at Dover, Matt Hancock has now discovered that the Isle of Wight is also an island, but still part of the UK. “To be honest,” he said, “I had confused i...
In some exciting news, the Isle of Wight has been selected by the UK Government to act as a testbed for the new UK Covid-19 Tracing App. This marvellous technology will allow the IOW to re-open for business by using phones to track where everybody...
In a shocking addendum to their manifesto released last week, the Isle of Wight Independence Party (IWIP) has promised the island's residents a referendum on the subject of independence if they are successful in next weeks election. 'If Independen...
Residents of Shanklin, on the Isle of Wight, were in high spirits yesterday after receiving the announcement that the town was to be the location of the island's first official Food Bank. 'It's absolutely marvellous', gushed Betty Bigglesthwaite,7...
Conjoined twins Doris (aged 86) and Betty (aged 86) Peaswhistle were left devastated yesterday when they received a note of formal litigation from the Embassy of Thailand in London. The litigation appears to refer to a book that Doris and Betty ha...
A plea has gone out from the Isle Of Wight Tourist Office, warning people not to take unofficial souvenirs home following the loss of a major tourist attraction. The remains of "The Needles" were smuggled out in a white van sometime yesterday accordi...
Residents of Jurnsey Nursing Homes are eschewing Tombola and Bingo Nights, in favour of more radical pursuits. 'We may be old, but we're hungry for the bold and ground - breaking', says Reenie Pankhurst,100, today. Reenie has been the Entertain...
4 REASONS WHY ISLAND LIFE IS BETTER THAN MAINLAND: 1: Islands tend to be windswept, with supplies often being cut - off, this affords oblivion to Modern Reality. 2: Some islands, Alderney, Guernsey and others, prohibit cars. This is not only good for the environment, it dissuades any one relatively young , from invading the place. 3: Many islands' waters are choppy and inhospitable, suc...
A cargo ship carrying news of the outside world for the last six months was deliberately grounded off the Isle of Wight Saturday evening after it began to list. Captain Sigge Olafson of the Hoege Osaka said he ordered crew members to jettison new...
The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...
1) The Isle of Wight contains less prisoners per head of the population than Alcatraz or San Quentin. 2) Despite over one hundred movies about daring escapes from The Isle of Wight, only one person, Harry Houdiney is known to have successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale in 1955. 3) How big was the average b and b room in 1943? Each single room was 5 feet by 9 feet. Double rooms ha...
The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
Tea, coffee and sandwich sales have rocketed at H.M.P. Isle of Wight Visitor Centre due to a G.P.S. mix up. A recent initiative by the Isle of Wight Tourist Institute, hoping to sell the Island as a holiday destination and not just an amalgamati...
Winter has just ended and summer festivals are just around the corner. Soon the island will be blessed with many fun filled weekends providing enjoyment for both residents and tourists alike. It seems like every town and village has their own fest...
The Isle of Wight is to become a tourist attraction. A fact finding team has returned from America with the intention of opening Alcatrazworld on the Island, potentially attracting millions of ghouls wishing to see electric chairs and death row c...
The long awaited Isle of Wight Glasgowland theme park has opened with an explosion of swearing, drunken razor fights and face "glassing". A true Friday night Glasgow experience can now be had any night of the week without leaving the geriatri...
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