Kate Middleton's Nude Calendar Destined To Be One Of 2011's Top Sellers

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 18 November 2010


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image for Kate Middleton's Nude Calendar Destined To Be One Of 2011's Top Sellers
The January photo will show Kate posing in front of the Lord Nelson statue in Trafalgar Square.

LONDON - England's Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company has just announced that they will be putting out a nude 2011 calendar featuring none other than Kate Middleton, the soon-to-be-wife of Prince William.

Company spokesperson Byron Thameswater stated that his organization will see to it that the nude calendar is handled with all the dignity, taste, and respect that was afforded to previous calendar models Cheryl Cole and Girls Aloud.

He noted that they will be hiring the professional services of Luigi Franchini, who is regarded as the 'King of Nude Photos' to handle all of the calendar photographs.

Franchini is a graduate of the highly reputable Colonel Juan Academy of Photographic Photography in Chiswick, England.

Thameswater further added that the photos of Miss Middleton will be taken throughout various locations and places in London as well as out in the lovely English countryside.

One of the photographs (April) will be taken on the drawbridge at Windsor Castle. Another (September) will be shot in the Sherwood Forest where Robin Hood once roamed with his band of Merry Men.

Miss Middleton will be photographed in front of Buckingham Palace for the month of March photo. This particular shoot will be shot at 3 a.m. to insure that no one will be around to catch a glimpse of the totally naked Kate.

The photo that will be used for July will be taken on the grounds of Simon Cowell's palatial estate. Kate will be shown lying on the hood of Cowell's brand new Bugatti Veyron, which is priced at $1 million [£628,658 British].

Franchini has stated that he will take January's photo at the base of Lord Nelson's Trafalgar Square statue.

The locations of the other seven photographs have not been determined as of yet but inside sources have tossed around the names The Tower of London, Wembley Stadium, The London Eye, and Russell Brand's former bachelor pad 'Happy Haven' located in Soho.

CREDITS: I would like to express my sincerest thanks to the following for their contributions to this article. Manu Ginobili, Keira Knightley, Diet Dr. Pepper, Kurt Warner, Eva Longoria, Act II Microwave Popcorn, and to the very talented writer who has been referred to as the Count of Chiswick, none other than my esteemed English friend Colonel Juan, for graciously allowing me the use of his character Luigi Franchini.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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