LONDON - At a press conference in London, Cameron admitted to orchestrating the global financial meltdown along with his chums, former PM Gordon Brown and former president George W. Bush.
"We got together on my farm in Texas," recalled Bush. "We wanted to play a giant prank on the world, so we decided, 'how about a recession?'. It was planned so perfectly. I got ol' Greenspan to falsify some money stuff, and Brown rigged a 2010 election so that his pal Cameron could get into power."
The prank, which took ten months of planning and under three years to execute, has caused stifled laughters from the three at various press conferences.
"Oh course, the plan went slightly askew when that Obama guy got picked," said Brown. "We were counting on Bush being president again, but hey, we had a good time out of it."
The three have claimed that everything, from the house prices crash to tuition fee rises, was all an elaborate hoax.
"So it's okay," said Cameron, in his actual Cockney accent. "Thank goodness I don't have to pretend to be privileged. Everyone can have their jobs back!"
As of press time, Cameron went back to his civilian life working as a milkman in 20th-century England.