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Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Funny story: Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Crack dealers have probably been hit hardest in the recent recession. That, and the proliferation of cheap pharmaceuticals on the Internet. "We can't give this stuff away anymore. People just aren't into smoking crack anymore. Why go to all the...

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Britain not in recession, and never has been

Funny story: Britain not in recession, and never has been

George Osborne, the Human Resources manager put in charge of the economy of the UK, has admitted that due to a slight technical error (Osborne: "In the previous administration, mention that!") made by the previous administration, austerity measures w...

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Teen Hookers See 12% Pay Increase in 2013

Funny story: Teen Hookers See 12% Pay Increase in 2013

Local teen hookers are doing pretty well in this rough economy according to a Pew Research Poll. The Poll taken the last week of December 2013 showed that the average hourly pay for teen hookers is up 12% from the same time last year. "I think t...

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Bad breath rates 'rise when economy is booming'

Bad breath rates among middle-aged workers go up during economic booms and dip when we are heading for a recession, according to W.H.O. (World Halitosis Organization). These breath-taking findings come from a survey of the GDP and bad-breath rates...

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Wall Street Journal attempting to appeal to female readers with "Ten ways to drive your economy wild."

Funny story: Wall Street Journal attempting to appeal to female readers with "Ten ways to drive your economy wild."

In an effort to appeal to younger and female demographics, the Wall Street Journal ran an editorial in its weekend edition entitled "Ten ways to drive your economy wild", reproduced here. 1. Send your economy salacious consumer confidence indicators throughout the day. 2. Dirty talk: don't be afraid to show your economy your inner Chairman of the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction.

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What triggered the economic crisis? Accountants add it up

Funny story: What triggered the economic crisis? Accountants add it up

New York -- After more than five years of intense investigations and calculations, a panel of 27 accountants has discovered the direct cause of the ongoing collapse of the world's economy. Its finding: A bookkeeper for a tax accounting firm head...

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From rags to stitches

Funny story: From rags to stitches

Rupert was a man from the back streets of Kensington. He lived out of a modest five bedroom apartment and survived on a mere £200,000 per year. Unfortunately for Rupert his world soon became shattered and broken and he could no longer afford a nanny to look after Francesca and Tarquin so he decided to feed the nanny to his 500ft long tarantula's. The tarantula's were highly maintained and demanded...

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Cyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast

Funny story: Cyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast

Nicosia, Cyprus - The shiny toasters that bank customers received for opening new accounts are being confiscated by the financial institutions that gifted them. Objective: to help ease this country's multibillion euro debt crisis. "No, this is not...

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Sequester's Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos

Funny story: Sequester's Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos

Washington, DC -- The upside of the government's sequester initiative is a $1.2 trillion reduction in the deficit. The downside is that the blunt force action will produce many unanticipated cuts and changes that will adversely affect every American.

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Charity shops to start buying each others clothes

Funny story: Charity shops to start buying each others clothes

As the Triple Dip recession bites deeper, and the population at large has even less money to spend on unnecessary items, such as clothes and food, charity shops are starting to feel the pinch previously only felt by first hand shops, such as River Pe...

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America Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster

Funny story: America Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster

Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed to rescue America from bankruptcy. In...

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Weddings have become too expensive

Funny story: Weddings have become too expensive

With the economy in the state that it is in, the rising cost of weddings has become something that many men are deciding against tying the knot. "It costs several thousand quid," said Harry Balls, a mathematics lecturer from Sheffield University,...

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Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Funny story: Mt. Rushmore Mistaken for the Fiscal Cliff; Lincoln Loses Face

Keystone, South Dakota - The Mount Rushmore National Memorial was severely damaged last night by a missile fired by a US military drone. The attack apparently was commissioned by Congress in what is now being called "a clerical error." "Our bad,"...

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Sparks and Mensa announce lower profits for the year

Funny story: Sparks and Mensa announce lower profits for the year

Sparks and Mensa, the High Street store that the intelligentsia know and love has announced lower pre-tax profits than at this point last year. "Our pre-tax profits are down by just over ten percent," said accountant, Ben Counter, who has shown be...

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China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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Swiss Bank Discovers Cause of Global Recession

Funny story: Swiss Bank Discovers Cause of Global Recession

Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...

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The Devil Flames the Obama/Romney Race

Funny story: The Devil Flames the Obama/Romney Race

Washington, DC -- In an historic first, the Devil has declined to throw his support behind either candidate for US President, declaring that both contenders "are hell-bent on creating chaos without any help from me." "That makes it impossible to c...

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Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

Funny story: Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

The contract for building another runway in London has been won by budget airline Queasy Jet. They have decided that Altrincham, some two hundred miles away near Manchester, is the perfect location. "On the scale of things," said Queasy Jet chairm...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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