Juicy Jenny Drummed Out Of Union

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 8 September 2010


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Jenny Thompson - the hooker at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal - is to be drummed out of the prostitutes' trade union for indiscretion.

"Juicy" first alleged she had bedded Rooney, before announcing that she had been with 13 other Premier League players.

However, her colleagues in the "sex industry" are angered by her revelations.

Said Bunty Largesse, of the Prostitutes' Union: "When a gentleman visits one of our members he understands that the spoken contract he has entered into includes the assumption that the lady will be discreet. After all, she is a professional.

"Unfortunately, Ms Thompson has behaved very unprofessionally in this instance and many of her colleagues feel very let down.

"Will highly-paid footballers seek our services now?

"She has made our business that much more difficult, so we have no choice but to cancel her membership."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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