Manchester - (Gonads): Now the boot's on the other bloody foot! England striker Wayne Rooney pegged down the missus a notch or two tonight with a prove-the-baby's-mine kinda kissogram.
Four days of redtop finger wagging at his hooker shagging exploits have done little to tarnish the man's composure.
Man U pals have have rallied round amid overwhelming suspicion that Coleen was having it off with 'mystery lover' Darren Hornycruffs.
Stands to reason, then, a cuckolded man's gotta screw what a cuckolded man's gotta screw.
"And that means Screw You Coleen!" the kissogram bussboy chuckled sweetly as Mrs Rooney scurried inside her $7 million Barbados villa for the duration with little Kai in tow.
Vanessa Perroncel would never kiss'n'tell.
