Hosepipe Ban is not a worry

Written by IainB

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

image for Hosepipe Ban is not a worry
Despite recent rain, the hosepipe ban remains in force

The north-west of England is entering it's second week under the Hosepipe Ban imposed by the local water utility company, Untied Totalities.

However, the people of Manchester, at least, are not in the slightest bit bothered by the restriction of being unable to use a hosepipe to water their garden or clean their cars.

"Well, I've not really needed it," said Moston resident Charles Stopcock. "It's not stopped raining since they imposed the ban, has it? Only thing I might need my hosepipe for is for pumping the flood out of me back garden."

And Charlie Stopcock is not alone.

Even Liverpool resident James Fawcett finds himself agreeing with Chuck Stopcock.

"It'd been a good summer til that hosepipe ban, yeah?" said Jimmy Fawcett. "I reckon it's better than a rain dance, slapping a hosepipe ban on the north-west like that."

Many people at Untied Totalities had feared that people would ignore the hosepipe ban and they would be forced to fine them one thousand pounds for preventing their lawns from turning brown. However this has not been the case, and not one person has been caught using a hosepipe ban.

"This has been our most successful hosepipe ban ever," said spokesman, Dwayne Pipe, from under an umbrella outside UT's Trafford headquarters. "We knew that the people of the north-west would understand, and be law abiding. However, we are continuing the hosepipe ban in place until the flash floods in Cumbria have had chance to restock the reservoirs."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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