UK leaves The Recession Club

Funny story written by Raffles Cholmondley Smyth

Wednesday, 27 January 2010


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The UK's entire cash reserves, yesterday

The UK finally staggered drunkenly out of the Recession Club, Holborn early yesterday morning after drinking heavily in there since early last year.

The G20 nations all met up for a drink up in the famous club in the spring of last year and each set up a bar tab. France and Germany couldn't handle the early drinking pace set by England and the US and left last summer, nursing hangovers.

Over the coming months more and more countries settled their tabs and left leaving just the UK propping up the bar with a £130 trillion pound tab weighing heavily on its mind. In fact the UK had been on the piss that long it had forgotten about work and as a result 2 million people had become unemployed during the massive drink up.

Most of the G20 are now back with their girlfriends and have got their jobs back, however the UK is now single and living in a council flat in Thurrock and on benefits.

The bar tab will take many years to pay off and the UK is to enter rehab to try and kick the habit. However many onlookers expect the UK to be back in the Recession Club pretty soon. The barman at the Recession Club said, "Some of the UK wanted to leave last summer, but Brown and Darling just kept ordering more cocktails and the tab got bigger and bigger".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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