Tulisa Contostavlos, X Factor judge and 'N'Dubz' singer (yeh right, Ed.) has today launched this years charity campaign, to run over the festive season. 'Save a Chav for Crimbo' was launched today in Essex nightclub 'Slappers', by Ms. Contostavlos...
The Government, through the Department for Work and Pensions, has announced the introduction of new Yob Centres aimed especially at the work-shy, brain dead and late-teen New Direction fans. Tastefully decorated in appealing "street pizza" pattern...
The makers of TV talent show "Britain's Chavs Will Attempt to Entertain You" were shocked when it was revealed that the winner of this year's contest was a serial killer who carried out murders on live television. Mr Stabby, a magician, was praise...
Rioters in Manchester and London appear to be targeting shops that they like. "We've seen a large number of shops targeted," said detective inspector Gutta Bungh. "Mainly though, they appear to be Miss Selfridge, Top Shop, Elizabeth Duke and Matal...
Most residents of Middlesbrough, England, were ecstatic when they heard that the Olympic Torch will be carried through their town en route to London for the opening of the 2012 Olympic Games. The 'handing over' of the torch will take place at The...
Takwana and Anitakapita met with their favourite Spoof Writer today after calling her to set up a meeting in their favourite restaurant, Morrisons' Berwick Hills Branch. By the time our writer met up with them they were both 'fit to be tied'. She asked them why they were so obviously angry. First they sat down at a table near the window with cups of tea and tuna sandwiches whilst the girls...
The first ever initiative to provide a safe haven for minks has begun in the West of Scotland. The Scottish Mink Project has been given £1 million to provide a safe area and shelter for thousands of minks and chavs in Glasgow. Large aerodrome s...
BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless was captured by a rogue gang of chavs today, and was forced to live with them. "Oh," he said. "MY GOD! I was away from my fricking mother! That sucks!" He said that experience was harrowing. "After two hours,...
The UK Government is finally getting tough on terrorists after ASBO's fail. The new laws will give police the power to take "bomb making equipment off terrorist if they believe they are being used anti-social" a spokes man said today. The move...
BIRMINGHAM - A new report by the University of Birmingham has found out that homo stultus (common chav), is a 99% descendent of the Neanderthals. "Yeah," said Dr. Bill Bates, "one of our colleagues got into a fight with a chav - and won. There was...
Shock rippled through Labour today as Edward Miliband made a shocking revelation in his first speech - he is reluctantly giving up the leadership of Labour to his sister Kelly Miliband, after their mother Marion stepped in, saying "The boys get all...
X-Factor reject Chloe Mafia Has spoken out on ITV's This Morning about the allegations she is a paid escort and a heavy coke user. Speaking to Phil and the other one that's not Fern she said "No, right I's didn't do any of that right because I's...
In a recent incident in a Northern hospital complex a chavtastic teenager who swaggered into Ward 101 for a back operation whilst clearly under the influence was turned away. The chav, known only as Carl, was wearing a huge parka style coat, very...
Independent observers have warned about this sort of thing for years, and it finally happened last night. Workshy chav, Delorian Sedgewick was battered senseless and hospitalised by the irate father of his latest beau, as he started what has been...
He was dubbed Britain's worst father after successfully inserting his penis into seven separate fat lasses with low self esteem and ejaculating, which resulted in seven more mouths to feed and drain the national purse. He then found an eighth will...
A Local man seeking the golden beaches of Crapham Down, near Beachy Head, East Sussex, was disappointed when his GPS navigation system led him 400 miles off course, landing him instead, in the industrial northern town of Pisser Clough, near Widdop, W...
A 17 year old chav has told how he thought he was going to die during a horrific bumming that left him with an inability to walk straight, but has cleared his speech impediment right up. The boy, who would rather be referred to as a "man" but has...
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