London - (Rioters): The first thing a new Conservative government must do is send another 20,000 troops to Germany a policy think tank has advised.
Diversionary sideshows like Afghanistan and Iraq have clearly served their purpose in a cunning NATO counter-intelligence blinder.
But a Tory priority has to be the recasting of the entire EU defence policy.
"If there is to be any hope of beating Angela Murkel nee Ratzinger at her sinister federalist game then the troop numbers should infact triple," Chief of Staff Sir Jock stirrup commented.
Nearly 70 years since the end of World War II and the stark lessons of appeasement still dictate you can't trust the Poles or the Lithuanians to take over policing former Boche heartlands.
"And another thing, that horsefaced Baroness has got to go!" Stirrup added, clearly unamused.
"Woman's stark raving bonkers if you ask me. Probably some sort of KGB sleeper. Where's my blunderbuss?"