Platteville, Wisconsin. Profoundly loaded with PTSD and tons of irreversible emotional baggage from his highly traumatizing 56 minutes of mowing a quarter-mile stretch of lawn at Excel Brushworks Inc., 44-year-old part-time janitor Luke Wesley despe…
The UK heatwave which has been heating and waving for three weeks now, has 'knackered' a man's lawn in Shropshire, it has been alleged. The man, Les Jonno, says that the unseasonal 'red-hot' temperatures have put paid to decades of diligent, deter...
In the wake of the current heatwave in the UK, which, as we speak, is causing grass fires to rival the hellish scenes left in Kuwait after Sadam Hussein abandoned the oil fields using his "scorched Earth" policy, the Met office has issued a "dry gras...
Heavy rainfall which is affecting many parts of the UK causing flash flooding should technically be classed as monsoons, according to the British Meteorological Organization today. Due to the hot, humid weather and everlasting sun resulting from...
According to global modern agricultural giant Monsanto Company, the grass is greener not on the other side, but when it's genetically modified - or so the company hopes. “It's wrong that people sometimes are forced to golf on browning blades of gr...
DENVER - There is a movement in the state of Colorado to rename the Governor's Mansion. Reports are that many marijuana enthusiasts in the Rocky Mountain State want to name the governor's mansion Grassland. And there are some Coloradans who wan...
DENVER - The state of Colorado has just announced that Sophie Higginwax of Denver is the oldest pot shop owner in the entire state of Colorado. The 83-year-old great-grandmother has just purchased The Grass Is Always Greener Marijuana Shop in down...
TULSA, Oklahoma - Dr. Phil flew into Tulsa to visit with a man who was his barber back in his high school days. Dr. Phil said that Diego Shimshicky not only was a fantastic barber but he had the best "Glossy Magazines" of any barbershop in the cit...
DENVER - Colorado state Senator Jimbo Quickdance [D-Denver] presided at the ribbon cutting ceremonies at The Wacky Weed Pot Shop. Ollie Rushmill, owner of the Wacky Weed, is the first pot shop owner in Colorado to have a drive-thru window at his m...
BOULDER, Colorado - On January 1, 2014, the state of Colorado made it legal to purchase and use marijuana. And now several marijuana shop owners have come forward and stated that they have found that women who smoke an average of 3 marijuana joint...
COLORADO SPRINGS - The Colorado Springs Chamber of Commerce has just announced a new marijuana-related business venture. Pixie Dizzdickens, 43, with the Colorado Springs Chamber of Commerce stated that she has just learned that a total of 13 Color...
DENVER - Law enforcement officers have reported that they have confiscated 873 pounds of counterfeit marijuana that was being sold in a Denver marijuana shop. Officer Winthrop Tanninfaust, Jr., with the DPD said that the fake pot looked, smelled,...
ASPEN, Colorado - Local authorities have commented that since January 1, 2014, the sale of marijuana seeds is outselling the sale of sunflower seeds by an astounding 700 to 1 ratio. Fisher "Sinsemilla" Vittypoof, 28, owner of The Giggling Weed See...
Since there was no money any longer to keep the church cemetery mowed, a preacher in North Carolina borrowed some sheep from a local sheep farmer who had family buried in the church graveyard. "I thought we could just fence them off", stated Broth...
HOLLYWOOD - A&E presents the new original real-life series "Grass Wars," which follows two suburban homeowners and - their lawns. Audiences can tune in each weeknight for three full hours to watch their grass grow starting at 7pm Eastern/ 6pm CST...
Fans of stupid theories are celebrating again as the religion of evolution presents yet another miracle to behold. Loons posing as scientists claim to have discovered the oldest living thing on earth, some seagrass which they have the nerve to sug...
DES MOINES: Several students in Des Moines, Iowa have been arrested for allegedly selling homosexual lawn grass. The arrest comes after several men started to complain of unusual and unnatural feelings for the same sex. The special grass, a uni...
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