Friday, 7 August 2009

image for BNP Red White and Blue Rally: Headline acts revealed
BNP Hero Michael Jackson, Once Black then White was set to appear, but died secretly last month we can reveal.

This months Red White and Blue festival by the British National Party has been muted for a long time as just another get together by nazis, closet leather clad homosexuals, uncaged animals and the sort of scum seen regularly on the terraces of Britains number one stadium, The House of Commons.

But the BNP have outdone themselves this year with their choice of spin off groups, each with racial undertones for their annual Red White and Blue rally in Codnor, Derbyshire.

The Tribute acts have pledged their support to the event each with their own theme on the BNP and racism generally.

The Acts are as follows

Ideal Average White Band
Nazi Fun Lovin' Criminals
Simple Minds
The Spin Doctors of Griffin
Theatre of Hate
The Ku Klux Clannad
New Order of the White Empire
Westlife!! Rulez Ok!!

This years new feature at the event will be the Indigenous White Anglo-Saxons Got Talent competition, with Judges Prince Philip, long term upper crust Nazi sympathiser, BNP Ballerina Simone Clarke, the totty und Der Fuhrer, Herr Griffin, the nasty one. Strict rules were put in place by Nazi nick Griffin that 'no soul, hip hop, white rap, wailing muzzie music or dancing chimps' were allowed as acts.

A NTNON reporter bumped into Simon Darby, BNP Deputy Chairman & National Press Officer and asked him if the possible plans by the Tories, if they were to win the next election, to abolish the Equalities and Human Rights Commission, would have a diverse affect on cultural harmony in the community
"Erm, dunno 'bout dose politicul fings, but I can lift 'eavy boxes" said a confused but stockily bomber jacketed Mr Darby.

When we asked him if all non whites should be booted out the country, he immediately sprang to life by shouting 'Sieg Heil', giving a nazi salute, followed by several long John Cleese style goose steps, then singing 'Send The Buggers Back', a famously loved BNP song by Half a Shilling, Half A Brain.

Another event planned this year was the lookalike competition and this years theme was legendary 'Rivers of Blood' MP, Enoch Powell with prizes for the most beautifully styled moustache and the most witty one liner about 'how he was right, even back then'.

Other events planned were the legendary Tug of multi-cultural-society War, a sink the immigrant boats competition on the river, an Eva Braun doll making stall, with added Swastika bonus, a Colour By Numbers stall for children, a flyby of a German Messerschmitt, a Put the Eyeball Straight on Griffin-pin the donkey type game and the famous standup comedy evening "It'll be All White on The Night".

The event will Kick-Off, no doubt, on the 15th August.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: BNP

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
64 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more