A writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com was released from police custody this morning after finding his wife in bed with another man. The writer was arrested following a vicious assault on his naked victim.
Reports reached us that the writer pretended to go to work on the night shift as usual, but went down the pub for a couple of hours as his wife entertained her secret lover.
The writer returned home and confronted the frolicking couple. The secret lover was slapped around a bit before being hurled down the stairs and thrown naked into the street.
Police were alerted by the commotion and arrested the writer. The secret naked lover was taken to the hospital, where his injuries were reportedly: "Very nasty indeed, but not life threatening."
We spoke to the writer as he emerged from the police station after a night in the cells. He told us:
"Yes, I gave the swine a good kicking. Not only that, but I broke his white cane in half and booted his guide dog up the arse."
More unadulterated rubbish as we get it.