One Star Bandit Hunted Down In North Carolina

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 27 July 2009

image for One Star Bandit Hunted Down In North Carolina
Skoob, Just Out Of Shot, Wandering Around. Drunk As A Skunk As Usual.

The notorious one star bandit was today tracked down to a motel in North Carolina by a self confessed stupid drunk-most-of -the time Spoof contributor known as Skoob 1999.

As the cops screeched up in a variety of vehicles, Skoob, a dumb assed half English/part Irish mongrel dog simply stood on the motel forecourt shrugging his shoulders and laughing.

Cop Cecil De Cecil told us:

"We came here anticipating some kind of violent face-off. But the Limey is just shrugging his shoulders and laughing. We considered tazering him but we figured he was just so nuts it wasn't worth the hassle. He's just an old dude who just doesn't look that dangerous. He's a skinny assed motherfucker too."

We approached Skoob1999 who told us:

"I don't have a beef with the one star bandit. Sometimes one star is the highest accolade a Spoof writer can get. I didn't come here to shoot him or kill him. No sir. I came here hoping to shake his hand. The one star bandit is a living legend."

At which point, Skoob bent double and honked his lunch up onto the parking area.

"Fuck me," he stated. "Where do you get more beer round these here parts?"

Which is where we made what we call in the trade a 'tactical withdrawal'

Skoob was last seen in the parking lot waving his right fist in the air, weaving drunkenly from side to side and shouting:

"One star bandit! I salute you! Not in a gay way of course! But I do salute you! It's people like you that make life worth living! You're me bestest buddy you are!"

The one star bandit was unavailable for comment.

More drunken Limey related Spoof writing nonsense as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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