A massive sting operation has exposed an illegal alien sweatshop in Lancashire reported to be the homebase for the Internet satire website known as TheSpoof.com.
Located in an abandoned call centre the sweatshop kept several hundred of illegal aliens at work satisfying the comic needs of the seamy underbelly of society while filling the coffers of the owner of the scam, Mark Lowton, known to his workers as Big Boss Lowton.
According to Ramsalla Jinh Singh, a former worker for Lowton who has stepped forward, the majority of the workers were from India and were hired under the expectation that they would be well paid but soon found out that they were compensated with TheSpoof.com points instead.
"I hoped to send money back home to my family but soon found out I was trapped here in Lancashire with no hope of escaping."
"Lowton chained us to our desks and made us churn out hopeless drivel."
"He had page three girls plastered all over the walls and forced us to watch Premier League Football day-in and day-out against our will."
"We were fed street kabobs and if we turned out a good story he brought in a armful of used McDonalds wrappers for us to munch on which was pure pleasure. We fought over them like dogs!"
"After I was here a few weeks I conspired with my co-workers Jagedone Singh and Jalapenoman Singh to break free by using a staple remover to jimmy open our shackles but Big Boss showed up in his shiny suit and let us have it good for our troubles."
"I worked on the Skoob 1999 project with four others, twenty-four seven. Big Boss kept the lights on day and night so we would work like chickens. He put clocks on the wall from different time zones which he said were for our benefit but used to slow down and speed them up just to mess with us."
"The worst thing was the constant pressure to produce. One poor new fellow started work on the Bart 7 project and had his keyboard upside down for a month without anybody noticing."
"My goodness, it's one thing to be a prisoner but even slaves have standards!"