Sobering Thoughts As Alcohol Deaths Rise

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

image for Sobering Thoughts As Alcohol Deaths Rise
Sober Up You Twat!

People suffered from sobering thoughts earlier today when it was announced that drink related deaths were on the increase. Ewen Chatfield was enjoying a few jars in his local "One More Into The Wind Please" when the news broke. Chatfield was so upset that he battered himself to death with one of the pub's summer menus (2 meals for £7.99 on a Thursday).

Professor Abid Ali, the author of the report said "We are not saying don't drink (hooray!). What we are saying is look where you are fucking going on the way home. The number of idiots who fall into a ditch! Bloody ridiculous."

So, please remember, if you must drink write your name and address in biro on your forehead first!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more