Written by bschooled

Sunday, 19 April 2009

image for Study Shows Drinking Copious Amounts of Booze Leads to Alcoholism
See, Patty, I was well gone and could barely see your ugliness.

Miami, FL-Researchers believe they have found a connection between alcoholism, and people who drink excessive quantities of liquor on a regular basis.

"Our preliminary study has shown that all of the test subjects suffering from alcoholism had consumed beverages such as beer, spirits, and/or hard liquor continuously, over an extended period of time", Dr. Gina Hunt, Head of Research at the University of Miami Hospital, explains. "Normally, we never see results that significant."

Hunt says that all although the tests are not over, she is hopeful that these findings will answer a lot of questions as to what causes this disease, and will open the door for future studies as well.

"We are already in talks to examine the correlation between hard-core narcotics users and those suffering from drug addiction. Who knows what we will find out, but I think it's pretty safe to say we are on the cusp of a medical breakthrough."

Hunt says that due to cut backs in the health care sector the study is temporarily on hold and will hopefully resume in early 2010.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Alcohol




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