CHARLESTON, West Virginia - State Senator Marlene W. Pillwater [D-Philippi] has just announced that the state senate has passed a bill which will change the 9-1-1- emergency number. Senator Pillwater said that after a heated debate on the senate f...
Although many ladies say they couldn't imagine it being a bad thing, Liz in Seattle says that it's not for the first 15-30 minutes but after that it wasn't great at all. She told an A&E audience that she was trying everything and it wouldn't s...
Passers-by were stunned to be told the bank's first-aider could not help because they are not allowed to give first aid outside the branch. A woman who collapsed outside a bank was refused help by staff. Passers-by pleaded for a trained first-a...
Peanut Choking Horror - Who said airline snacks are safe? Not Mr. Fred Flatula, who stated, "I did not realize that one peanut could mean the difference between life and oblivion." Turnaround Airlines say, "Our peanuts are as safe as anyone else'...
Starting in Europe, a sharp rise in medical emergencies was detected in at least seven countries beginning this February 14, Valentines Day. The trend has reportedly continued west into Canada and the United States but is apparently affecting only...
Popular, and very camp, fashionista Gok Wan has requested to be added to the 999 emergency services list. "Well, honey," said Gok (he insisted on being called just by his first name), "there are a lot of women out there that need my help. I just c...
"Don't eat Mabel's baked beans before a September 11 flight," was the response given by Willy Grey to officials after an American Airlines flight was escorted to Atlanta by F-16 fighter jets. Flight personnel alerted the pilot after noticing two p...
Residents of a Havant street were still in shock this morning following the untimely near demise of local self-employed gas fitter, Everton Cleverly. Mr Cleverly had been called out to a semi detached residence in Abbey Road to attend a suspected...
In a shock statement issued today by the UK Fire and Ambulance service, union representatives have decided that its members will no longer be able to attend emergencies, unless they are of a very minor nature. The Fire Brigade is being prevented f...
A huge dense ash cloud is heading for the UK. The cloud is on its way from Iceland where volcanoes continue to erupt. People are asked to keep all children and pets indoors until given the 'all clear'. They are also being advised to bring in all...
It is hoped that, as a result of the recent panic, resulting in a plane's radio having sent out, accidentally, a hijack May Day, that people working with computerised systems will NOW heed the initial warning, which is: NO FOOD OR DRINKS NEAR...
The residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, are busy digging themselves out of the largest snowfall that has hit the village in over 12 months. Residents were shocked to wake up this morning to be met with a whopping 2 cm. of snow which had fallen duri...
Police have urged people throughout the entire of freezing Britain to stay indoors amid warnings of heavy snow and plunging temperatures. Meteorologists have warned of meteor sized snow falls that would crush a person flat, should they be unlucky...
A Police force is under attack over a pilot scheme in which it employed a private call centre to handle emergency 999 calls. Muntingtonshire Police was the first force to trial the cost-cutting scheme. Union chiefs are aghast at the results of...
Following thousands of reported zombie sightings in the UK, Downing Street this afternoon officially placed the nation on Red Alert. Emergency call centres have been inundated with calls from terrified homeowners claiming to have spotted zombies i...
Leading British Telecommunications company, BT, today advised customers to only call 999 in cases of genuine emergency, and not to ask for the latest updates on chart topping girl band, the Bonkettes. A spokesman, who was female judging by the lad...
WASHINGTON DC - Emergency declared. Swine flu is not killing as much as hoped, according to my confidential source at the GAO, General Accounting Office. The millions of dollars spent sequencing the virus from the recovered 1918 samples will not be...
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