Police Are F*ckwits, Say de Menezes Jurors

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 12 December 2008

image for Police Are F*ckwits, Say de Menezes Jurors
Met officers search for excuses

The jurors in the Jean Charles de Menezes Murder Inquiry have returned an open verdict on the killing, but has called members of the Metropolitan Police "liars" and "f*ckwits".

Mr de Menezes, a mere electrician, was shot an amazing SEVEN times in the head by Met officers C2 and C12, who, according to witnesses, did not identify themselves either as police officers or fuckwits.

Sir Mick Wright told the inquiry that this had been a fatal error, and had the fuckwits only identified themselves as fuckwits, the Brazilian might well have been alive to fix plugs, sockets, dodgy wiring and dimmer switches today.

As it was, C12, known to be a complete fuckwit by his fuckwit colleagues at Fuckwit Yard, pushed someone called 'Ivor' aside, and emptied his powerful weapon into Mr de Menezes' head using the DELIVER CRITICAL HEAD SHOT advice given to him by superior fuckwits sat miles away in a bunker.

The jury at the Oval Cricket Ground in London said they did not believe police claims that the fuckwits had identified themselves, branding them "lying fuckwits".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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