Poofters encouraged to join MI5

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Saturday, 23 August 2008

image for Poofters encouraged to join MI5
MI5 recruiting spies with 'alternate lifestyles'.

The British intelligence service MI5 is pushing to recruit more flaming queers to the organisation.

After all, say spokesmen for MI5, " Everyone knows 007 was a famous woopsie, all those sexy straight women around him - that's the hallmark of your dyed-in-the-wool Judy-Garland-loving homosexual."

MI5 is being advised by Stoneballs, the UK's leading gay equality organisation, on how to attract more gays to the organisation. Suggestions include: a more trendy line of clothing for agents, bare-chested barboys in the agents' private lounge and a clothing-optional seaside resort for agents who are between assignments and/or being 'de-briefed', so to speak.

The intelligence service also wishes to encourage spies to be more open about their sexuality and to feel free to express it with fellow agents and, when useful, enemy spies.

This year MI5 will appear in Stoneball's Gay U graduate recruitment guide, which lists gay-friendly employers and good places to pick up hot men.

Ben Manyskills, director of Stonewall, told PinkNews.co.uk:
"We are delighted that MI5 have decided to explore the pool of talent within the gay workforce.

"We will encourage all our new gay recruits to work in this area in the future.

"This is a sign that people in all sorts of public services are looking in a different way at how to recruit talented and well-groomed people.

"Previously, public services were delivered by the 'Man from the Ministry', who was white, boring and heterosexual; that is now changing.

"Soon, MI5 will be synonymous with style, glamour and a knowledge of fine wines and Barbra Streisand hits."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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