It has been revealed that the main reason for Labour faring so badly in the recent local elections was because so many people voted for candidates other than Labour.
Forget about David Dimblebore jumping up and down in his seat on television, or Ruth Kelly reciting 23 novenas and strapping a calice to her thigh, but our reporter on the spot, Buster Zitt, conclusively reveals that the opposing parties did so well for no other reason than they gained more votes.
However, there are other factors which may have contributed to this electoral drubbing. For example, some people do not particularly like the Prime Minister or his government; others object to the use of Ed Balls and Alistair Darling before the 9pm watershed.
"Many people are, in reality, being unfair to the PM and his government. The simple fact is that not enough people voted Labour, and this is the prime reason why they lost so many council seats.
"But it also must be noted that many Labour councillors actually only lost their seats because they couldn't remember where they had left them when they went to vote."