Big 'Gordon' Brown today won the Kentucky with a blistering display of moving quickly round a bit of grass.
A spokesman for the Prime Minister said 'He is entitled to have a hobby and for Gordon it is Horse Racing. He races against horses every weekend but usually keeps a low profile. Due to his deputy's love for Kentucky Fried Chicken, he decided to enter this particular race and won by a false eye.'
Sadly the runner up Ann Widdecombe had to be put down. 'It was the pasta ads that made me do it.' said owner David Cameron.