Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

image for Porsche, Lamborghini, Bentley, Ferrari, Mercedez-Benz etc take on Mayor Livingstone
Luxury limo manufacturers want to nail the evil tosser Livingstone

London - (Psychotic Mayor of London Mess): Luxury car manufacturers have clubbed together to nail delusional psychotic gangster and Mayor of London Ken Livingstone after his latest outburst of congestion charge egomania claptrap.

A proposed £25 charge hike for big-engine limos has enraged the top end sector of the car industry into seeking a judicial review of the Mayor's current court-imposed compulsory medication orders.

These were first introduced in the mid 1980s after his diagnosis as a Hellfire Club impostor and Broadmoor maximum security psych hospital recidivist.

Under current arrangements London motorists pay £8 to drive into a large part of Central London between 6.30am and 6pm.

The rules of engagement in this heist are specific: the purpose of the congestion charge is the regulation of car numbers and improvement of traffic conditions as a whole.

Dissenters such as the US ambassador to London, Robert "Katie" Holmes Tuttle have so far got away with over £1 million in unpaid fines for non-compliance on the basis that Livingstone's charge is a taxation scam pure and simple to which foreign legations are exempt by international treaty.

The Livingstone money spinner has proved immensely lucrative with over £1 billion raised annually for Livingstone to spread about into the pockets of his mobster rule henchmen.

Now the madness of King Ken is about to be challenged in the High Court.

Under his new scheme drivers of all large engine polluting vehicles such as 4x4s and expensive limos such as Porsche, Lamborghini, Bentley, Ferrari etc are now to be taxed at £25 per day for entering the Central London congestion charge zone during the specified hours.

Livingstone has gone public saying this is to reduce pollution and general carbon emissions in a bid to 'greenify' the Capital - a remit that has no legal backing given the specific parameters of the congestion charge zone.

Luxury car manufacturers filing for judicial review today have one huge trump card up their sleeves: they are challenging Livingstone's sanity on the rational grounds that to tax large engine cars at £25 is purely a socialist-claptrap egotrip.

"If the new charge is not payable after 6pm and before 6.30am then the Mayor's logic falls straight into the recycle bin of communist mumbo-jumbo," a spokesman explains.

"Livingstone says he wants to penalise big engine polluters specifically to keep the city air clean. But that would only apply if the charge was payable round the clock. And if he imposed that, he would have a revolution on his own doorstep with all the possibilities of a lynch-mob stringing him up by his own fetid petard.

"The man is still clearly certifiable."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more