M25 to become a Lazy River

Written by Rickie E. Room

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

image for M25 to become a Lazy River
Fast Lane M25 in 2009

Ken Livingstone, the Mayor of London, today announced that he is to back a feasibility study into the possible transformation of London's infamous ring road, the M25, into a lazy river more normally found in amusement parks.

This is in an attempt to curb the gridlock that commonly occurs in the Heathrow area of the motorway.

If the scheme proves feasible then the M25 will be converted into a shallow pool that will flow in a similar fashion to a river. The current will be slow and allow the drivers to float gently to their exit using a variety of inflatable craft.

It is claimed such a move will reduce carbon dioxide emissions by more than 200,000 tons in 2009 alone but will add at least one week onto the average journey times for drivers using the M25.

The idea is the brainchild of controversial architect Sir William Scaffold.

Sir William last made the headlines with his plan to solve overcrowding in prisons by erecting a 20 foot wall around Manchester and converting it into a penal colony.

Despite widespread public approval the government decided against the plan citing the affect that losing the majority of Mancunians would have on daytime TV, both as viewers of, and participants in, reality TV programming.

Londoners are used to waiting many years for major public building projects to get the go ahead but it is believed that Ken Livingstone is hoping to get the M25 plan approved before this years mayoral elections, with levee building to start as early as Spring next year.

Boris Johnson, Ken Livingstone's rival for Mayor believes the scheme to be 'ill-conceived and nothing more than a watery gimmick ' He went onto say that the estimated £2 billion the lazy river construction would cost 'would be better spent on annexing Scotland' and 'more popular'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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