Smokers Ban Non-smokers From Smoking Room In The Big Smoke

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 6 March 2008

image for Smokers Ban Non-smokers From Smoking Room In The Big Smoke
Piss off with your clean air!

Smokers at an office in London have created a controversy by expelling their non-smoking colleagues from a designated Smokers Room, saying that they are polluting rancid air with disgusting non-toxic chemicals.

The smokers were livid that their personal smoking space had been invaded by 'purified persons' who were infringing upon smokers' rights to wallow in nicotine clouds, by breathing out fresh, clean air from their lungs, and thus spoiling the enjoyment of death-courting smokers.

The office, at London's prestigious Canary Wharf, was in uproar yesterday as smokers and non-smokers argued amongst themselves, and refused to work together until the situation had been resolved.

The incident comes just a week before National No Smoking Day, and is bound to cause potentially-damaging publicity as the government strives to get more people to give up the filthy habit which claims more than 200 lives every year in Britain.

Nosmo King, spokesman for ASH, the anti-smoking lobby group said:

"There's no smoke without fire, or cancer."

But smokers remained defiant. One of them, Larry Stinkingfagash said:

"If I want to die through smoking cigarettes, that's what I'll do. And if I don't want non-smokers in my smoking space, that's my right as well. Leave me alone to die as I choose, and stop tampering with my polluted air!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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