Written by Jeremy Packsome

Thursday, 17 January 2008

image for Emergency landing at Heathrow Airport "not caused by Terrorists"
The plane did not explode in a ball of fire.

Police have revealed that an emergency landing of an airplane at Heathrow Airport was not the result of terrorist activity. Flight BA38 arrived from China and almost crash landed on a runway at the busy airport. Three passengers were reported to be slightly injured and were rushed to the Accident and Emergency department of the Royal London Hospital to be given paracetomols.

A spokesman for the police told a packed press conference that Muslim extremists were not involved. He showed photographs of an Algerian man and a Pakistani woman, who are believed to have no links to any terrorist groups, and insisted that the police were not looking for them. He added that these individuals were not believed to be a threat and that the public should not avoid them but go up to them in the street and say "hello".

One passenger who was evacuated from the plane told reporters that he had seen an Arab man on the flight who had been behaving perfectly normally and that he had had no cause to report this man's behaviour to flight staff. Another woman passenger insisted that prior to the emergency landing she had not smelled anything unusual such as Semtex.

News that extremists were not responsible was greeted angrily by Muslim groups in Britain. The chairman of the Islamic Federation lashed out at the police saying "How can they accuse us of not being involved? This is typical of their racist attitude to our community."

Meanwhile, Sky News has cancelled all other news reports to concentrate exclusively on this story. A spokesman announced that the channel will broadcast round the clock coverage of this perfectly innocent incident, including pictures of the aeroplane from different angles and interviews with people who had flown on similar aeroplanes in the past, with the words "Breaking News" scrolling at the bottom of the screen in large characters.

A spokesman for the Government revealed that the Cobra Committee would be meeting to discuss what had happened and said: "We appear to be dealing with a frightening new wave of incidents where nobody is to blame. We have not come across this situation before and we will institute new methods to combat it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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