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Funny satire stories about Heathrow

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Funny story: London's Heathrow Airport Will Shut Down For 7 Days As Workers Fix Thousands of Runway Pot Holes

London's Heathrow Airport Will Shut Down For 7 Days As Workers Fix Thousands of Runway Pot Holes

LONDON - (Satire News) - One of the world's businest airports in the world, Heathrow, will be shutting down for a total of seven days. Reports from BuzzFuzz (UK) state that the shutdown is taking place so that construction crews from Wales, can un…

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Funny story: Successful Space Launch from Sussex

Successful Space Launch from Sussex

Nosey neighbour Jess Curious was last seen rising swiftly from the roof of 25 Privet Road, Harshleigh, Sussex. Owner, Nona Yorbizniss, claims that Mr Curious insisted on testing her newly-installed high-speed lift - "Much more swift than your old sta…

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Funny story: The Drone Wars

The Drone Wars

UK police have announced a new weapon in the war on “people being a bit of a pain”, with the formation of a new crack drone unit. The unit's primary goal will be to combat the threat posed by the odd drone flying over Heathrow, but will probably...

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Funny story: Aliens Deny 'Heathrow Drone' Accusation

Aliens Deny 'Heathrow Drone' Accusation

There was further controversy in the Heathrow drone incident this morning, when aliens from distant galaxies contacted the airport to deny all knowledge of who was responsible. The drone was seen by several members of the public who were driving a...

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Funny story: Heathrow Airport Drone Was A UFO

Heathrow Airport Drone Was A UFO

A drone that was sighted flying near Heathrow Airport yesterday was not being operated by an irresponsible moron from the droning community, and was a UFO, says a man who knows what he is talking about. The UFO was seen by several members of the p...

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Funny story: Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

LONDON, ENGLAND - The damning economic report issued today revealed the lowest GDP growth figures in British history, effectively rendering Britain a third world country. Economists, politicians and self-proclaimed "experts" from down the pub wer...

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Funny story: Terror at Heathrow Airport

Terror at Heathrow Airport

American insurance salesman James Henry Galbraith thought it was just another tedious return home from the three-week business conference he had attended in London. It wasn't. A Heathrow customs official found a bottle of whiskey in his holdall. "I'm sorry Sir but I have to confiscate this." "Aw... come on buddy. Gimme a break! I always take a bottle home to the wife." "Excuse me." The officia...

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Funny story: Airports fast track security for sex toys

Airports fast track security for sex toys

Airports in the UK and US are now having to install express lanes for exhibitionists who pack adult toys in their hand luggage in the hope that they will be asked to 'prove they turn on'. Security staff are exasperated at the number of passengers...

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Funny story: London Mayor's 'River Thames Airport' vision edges ever closer as Heathrow faces being swept away in flooding disaster

London Mayor's 'River Thames Airport' vision edges ever closer as Heathrow faces being swept away in flooding disaster

London, UK - London Mayor Boris Johnson's vision of an airport on the Thames were rapidly becoming less of a pipe dream today as the UK's premier transport hub came under threat of being washed away by a huge wall of water creeping from the sodden T...

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Funny story: Renaming of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 2 a spooky omen

Renaming of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 2 a spooky omen

London - "Does it mean she'll kick the bucket tomorrow?" an air traffic controlled chuckled at today's announcement that a revamped Heathrow Airport building has just been named Terminal 2: The Queen's Terminal. "Everyone knows HM 'is terminal', h...

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Funny story: Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Leaked news from Balls House, headquarters of the Labour Party, has revealed Mr Milliband's preferred outcome of the airport review project. In an attempt to court support from all parties the Leader of the Opposition (sic) has asked his advisers to...

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Funny story: Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

The contract for building another runway in London has been won by budget airline Queasy Jet. They have decided that Altrincham, some two hundred miles away near Manchester, is the perfect location. "On the scale of things," said Queasy Jet chairm...

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Funny story: Plans afoot to Bury Boris under third runway

Plans afoot to Bury Boris under third runway

Plans are well advanced for Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, to be buried under the new third runway at London Airport. The offer to Boris of a seat in the House of Lords in return for his silence on the issue has been turned down despite the title...

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Funny story: Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Heathrow Airport had to be closed to air traffic for two hour this morning when a kangaroo decided to take a hop along a runway Having just arrived on the scheduled Australia Airlines flight from Sydney the marsupial then escaped down to the tarma...

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Funny story: Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Heathrow, LONDON: With many teenagers employed by G4S on £8.50 per hour, deciding to take days off to watch Jeremy Kyle or soaps, there may be trouble ahead. But why has the Olympic Security become a 'car crash', waiting to happen? Lord Coe et al...

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Funny story: Budget Airline Boss to Reduce Border Control Queues

Budget Airline Boss to Reduce Border Control Queues

Irish budget airline mogul Mick O'Really is set to solve the UK border control crisis with his latest venture. His new 'Pay and Arrive' scheme is set to dramatically reduce queues at London's Heathrow airport this summer. Executive of Pay and Ar...

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Funny story: Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Further deaths from an outbreak of Rionnaires' disease are highly likely, doctors warned yesterday. The recent outbreak is centred on Heathrow, and the number of confirmed cases rose to 157 (although some have been lost). And there are still thous...

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