Written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 January 2008

image for News At Ten returns amid reports it once employed IRA bombers posing as reporters
The News At 10 bongs return amid terrorism connection reports

London - (Diabloical Mess): ITV flagship eighties' news show News At Ten has made a dramatic comeback.

After nearly a decade in the wilderness it resumed broadcasting amid lurid reports connecting previous employees to a string of UK mainland bombing attacks attributed to the IRA.

The show was always burdened with this controversy which UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher did her upmost to plaster over.

Usually this involved pouring scorn on police reports. Or Drowning Street whisky down Home Secretaries' throats.

This occurred most frequently whenever the tricky subject of serial fraudster and criminal bankrupt Robert Maxwell ever came up.

However all the time News At Ten bosses knew her achilles heel viz her marriage to Robert Maxwell and the resulting spawn, the gargoyle daughter who 'became' today's top international terrorist Cherie Blair.

ITN has, relatively speaking, cleaned up its act since the grim days of the Thatcher era.

Former Home Secretary David Blunkett did a sizeable hatchet job to MI5 files relating to the ITN IRA employees.

These showed that a now deceased former top UK terrorist had been employed as a journo - a pretty heroin addict with a string of fraud/embezzlement convictions that were left on file because of their mesmerising links to the Taleban mobster cartels of George W Bush.

The addict in question had been closely involved with subsequent Northern Ireland Secretary Peter Mandelson in countless cover-ups about Robert Maxwells's KGB activities of empowering the fascist dictatorship of North Korea.

Her co-conspirator, a contemporary grande-dame of British journalism, is connected in myriad ways to the New Labour Party of Blair and Brown.

Their 80s terror legacy however has lived on.

While officially the Thatcher Westminster gerrymandering scandal of Dame Shirly Porter days is virtually closed, the second half of the homes-for-votes fiasco has emerged as a key component of the homes-for-fraud dilemma.

This became a pivotal gagging component of the Blair Good Friday Agreement with the IRA.

But the fact remains that Blair has a huge DNA connection to 21st century protection racket fraudsters who became the lucky recipients of the Homes-for-Fraud horror.

This guaranteed the gagging of UK criminal activity directly linked to the descendants of the Nazis.

"Blair has been remiss in failing to mention that he fathered an offspring with a key IRA terrorist," a top Anti-Terror source said today.

"That's how he earned his spurs and became head of IRA Army Council."

The offspring has posed as the ingenue child of a colorful character whose own re-invented ID and persona is at the heart of the CIA's search for Osama Bin Ladin and his cohort Aymay Zawahiri.

"It's a f***ing terrible mess, it really is," a UK Serious & Disorganised Crime honcho added.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: TV, Terrorism, IRA

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
80 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more