HRH Queen Elizabeth II is preparing to leave for Dubai following the purchase of the entire Royal Family by the Gulf state.
Staff at Buckingham Palace, Windsor and Balmoral are tearfully packing suitcases and loading up the royal carriages, while estate agents Knife Fork and Cutlery are preparing Home Information Packs for the residences.
The Royal Family are to settle in a magnificent new palace being completed on the man-made archipelago of Palm-Jumeirah. The 100,000 square foot property, built in the shape of a champagne bottle and surrounded by a reproduction of the Great Wall of China, is reputedly visible from outer space. It had already been reserved by the Beckhams, however their deposit has now been returned.
The Queen has said she will be sad to leave the UK, however she looked forward to her new role as Dubai's latest tourist attraction. "My family and I welcome this new challenge" she said, "and one cannot underestimate the infinitely better weather".
The Royals will be able to keep company with many other ex-pat Brits, including countless WAGS and soap stars who are already flocking to Dubai because of its understated elegance, renowned culture and value for money.