A British artist is said to be ready and and willing to a member of the royal family live on TV. A source informed us that this was in protest at the way Prince Philip is possibly perceived by the press and the general public as a cruel bigoted snob, with nothing better to do but to go around shooting innocent animals as he's bored.
The menu, specially chosen for the ocassion by Gordon Ramsay, will be either eat the Queen or Prince Edward, lightly sauted and served on a bed of lettuce with sugar snap peas, and a choice of either french fries, jacket potaton or mash. Yoko Ono will be joining him for the meal. No-one knows why!
A royal spokesman said that the Queen will be pleased that she has been placed on the menu as she hasn't been eaten before. Philip once promised to, but he couldn't bring himself to do it due to a nasty back injury. I don't think anybody is bothered about Edward.
Edward has not been a favourite since his humiliating performance in Royal "It's a Knockout"