In an unusual move the BBC has announced that the first guest presenter of the next series of the popular television show Have I Got News For You, scheduled for the autumn, will be Her Majesty the Queen.
The Queen, desperate to recoup some of the losses incurred by the huge bribes necessary to keep Prince Harry out of Iraq, has generously agreed to do the show for £500,000, a record fee.
The BBC admits that this is vastly more than any other guest presenter has ever been paid but insists that the public will see it as good use of their licence fees.
The Queen should be a good presenter, given her familiarity with reading from autocues. Her total lack of humour will be a perfect foil for Paul Merton's quick wit, although Merton is expected to be warned not to overstep the mark and to address the Queen as "Your Majesty" or "Your Royal Highness", rather than "Maj" or "Liz".
The Queen's only stipulations are that she is allowed to appear in full ceremonial regalia and that she is well supplied with lemons to suck on to keep her face from inadvertently creasing into a smile.