RFK, Jr., Donald Trump’s Secretary of Health and Human Services, is no stranger to controversy. Some might say the Secretary is downright wacky. In any case, no issue has stirred more controversy in RFK’s tenure than that of autism, which Kennedy clearly considers to be his pet subject.
Early on, Kennedy made it clear he planned to get to the bottom of this important issue, even vowing to find the cause of autism by the end of September. And so he has, at least if the new HHS survey is valid.
The Department of Health and Human Services has issued a report blaming autism on a new culprit: Kennedy Men.
Evelyn Griffin, an obstetrician who serves on Kennedy’s medical committee, explicates further: “It turns out that Kennedys are just bad for female health, bad for females period. Our study shows that if a Kennedy looks at a pregnant woman, her baby will grow up to be a real jerk. No kidding. We’ve been studying these kids for years and they’re all a bunch of douchebags.”
Dr Griffin adds, “I guarantee you no women are surprised by this. We’ve known about the Kennedy men for years. Our mothers have been warning us about the Kennedy men for years. The study suggests that it’s bad for a woman to be around a Kennedy period.”
“I’m as surprised as anybody,” RFK says. “It’s downright embarrassing. I always knew we were evil, us Kennedys, but I never realized we were this bad. It turns out we’re literally bad for your health. I guess I’ll slink away in embarrassment now.”
