A MORI poll has revealed that former Health Secretary who broke his own Covid rules when he had an affair with some bimbo, and who has accepted what is believed to be over £500,000 to go on a reality TV show while still keeping his lucrative MP’s salary and former Minister’s pension, despite doing no work as an MP, is one of the most detested people in the country.
55% of people aged between 40 and 50 want to punch Matt Hancock in the face. The number rises among younger people, with 68% of people aged 20 to 30 wanting to punch Matt Hancock in the face and a slightly lower number of 62% of people agreed 30 to 40 wanting to punch Matt Hancock in the face. Among the elderly, only 40% wanted to punch Matt Hancock in the face, but the polling company said that, allowing for the hard of hearing who probably didn’t hear the question, the truer figure is probably around 50% of older people wanting to punch Matt Hancock in the face.
Interestingly, the pollsters found that 40% of people who’d never heard of Matt Hancock wanted to punch Matt Hancock in the face. One American polled in California said “I don’t know who this Matt Hancock is, but if I met him, I’d punch him in the face.”
Matt Hancock’s ex-wife, whom he cheated on, admitted that she had punched him in the face after discovering his infidelity, adding “It felt really good. Not being cheated on, but punching Matt Hancock in the face.”
Mattel Toys announced that they might bring out a Mattell Hancock toy in time for Christmas which would be made of a soft, spongy material which recovers its shape quickly after a blow. “Then everyone could punch Matt Hancock in the face”, said the company’s spokesman.
WARNING: Punching politicians or former politicians in the face is wrong and could probably get you arrested and sent to prison. Unless you get one of Britain's corrupt police officers who might, for a beer and some cigarettes, let you go, and agree to punch Matt Hancock in the face
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