The Kremlin Voice Reports That The Russian Aircraft Carrier The "Mrs. Nikita Khruschev" Is Limping Back To Russia After Being Hit With 14 Torpedoes Fired From a Ukrainian Submarine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 May 2022

image for The Kremlin Voice Reports That The Russian Aircraft Carrier The "Mrs. Nikita Khruschev" Is Limping Back To Russia After Being Hit With 14 Torpedoes Fired From a Ukrainian Submarine
The Russian aircraft carrier "The Mrs. Nikita Khruschev" was no match for a Ukrainian submarine.

MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The word on the communist streets of Moscow is that President Putin is angrier than a woodpecker with a limp pecker.

Putin, who is 69, but lately is starting to look 99, is reportedly very upset that the pride and joy of the Russian navy, the aircraft carrier The RS Mrs. Nikita Khruschev, is returning to Russia, after it was nearly sunk when a Ukrainian submarine the US Sea Bitch, hit it with 14 of the 15 torpedoes it fired at the vessel.

The Kremlin Voice reports that the one torpedo that missed the Russian aircraft carrier only missed hitting it by 2¼ inches.

Putin told two of his girlfriends to keep it under their bras (hats) that when the crew of the gigantic aircraft carrier returns back to Russia, he will be exiling each and every officer, sailor, and masseuse to Siberia, where a temperature reading of minus 19 is considered a fucking warm day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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