Revealed: That thing Meatloaf wouldn't do for love

Funny story written by Archibald Minge

Saturday, 22 January 2022

image for Revealed: That thing Meatloaf wouldn't do for love
You know what he wouldn't do? That.

After the passing of rock legend Meat Loaf, a lost interview has finally given fans the answer to the question: Just what was it that he wouldn't do for love?

"I'll never record a song with fewer than an average of twelve words in the title, or that doesn't last for at least three hours," he told hack Sam Regan in 1995."

"Jim Steinman used to try to suggest shorter titles or tunes to me, but frankly, if it wouldn't get a quadruple word score in Scrabble or cause fans in the stands to lose all feeling in their legs while waiting for it to end, I don't want to know."

Famous for tracks such as 'You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth', 'Two Out of Three Ain't Bad' and, of course, 'I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)', when asked once if he'd consider a cover version of Del Amitri's two-minute long 'Roll to Me', it inspired his lesser-known B-side 'Hell No (That's Too Short by at Least Six Words and Four Hours)'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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